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optimism at work

I don't take things too seriously and laugh at myself a lot because I give myself lots of material to work with. For example here are some things I've learned through experience:
• It IS possible to accidentally call someone from your pants pocket and it’s highly likely that it will be while you're in your car singing
• If a bee flies into your car while stopped at a light, put your car in park before flailing your arms wildly, lest you hit the BMW in front of you
• If you drop your MP3 player while on the treadmill, DO NOT try to retrieve it while moving because the treadmill WILL throw you like a mechanical bull. Luckily my dog was the only witness to that. He only gave me a 7.5 because I didn't stick the landing
• If your shower door happens to detach from the wall while exiting the shower, DO NOT hold onto the handle--unless you want to make that naked 911 call
• I'm pretty sure that Egg McMuffins are just another form of crack--I've got a $2.80 a day habit

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